The Big Question: What is it Like Being a Stay-At-Home Dad? #2020

Happy New Year everyone I’m glad that we made it without the world going to war over the Star Wars franchise’s The Rise of Skywalker (If you’re not following it you’re missing out 🀣). I want to start off by wishing everyone that reads this happiness, health and growth (not the perverted kind guys 😐) going forward!

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Now on to the topic at hand fellas, what is it like being a stay-at-home dad?

This question is one that I’ve been thinking about lately, and not because it’s a question that comes up a lot but because it doesn’t. I would like to put in my two-cents about what it has been like figuring out fatherhood as a stay-at-home dad with my now 10-month-old son Bruce. (Shown above πŸ‘Ά)

I want to explain how I’m doing things to share my opinion with other fathers in an attempt to show them that being a stay-at-home dad isn’t a bad thing as the stigma of today often pressures us to believe. I want to stress that it doesn’t have to be the wife, or significant other, to stay at home with your kid(s) if you believe otherwise. Men don’t be too proud to share your thoughts, worries or emotions! πŸ’ͺ

For those that are on the DaysoftheDad blog for the first time, welcome and let me quickly explain my situation so that the more scrutinizing part of the Internet doesn’t troll me to death lol. πŸ’© I am a 27-year-old cancer survivor (Osteosarcoma since I always get asked) who lives at his soon to be in-laws since my leg snapped on me working at Pizza Hut in Feb 2018. My beautiful fiancee had our silly Mr. Bruce Feb 2019 and I got stuck on disability since I can’t put weight on my leg until after my next surgery (picture below of what it looks like now 😡).

So that’s the reason I am a stay-at-home father. Not really a choice on my part but now that I am I wouldn’t have it any other way and let me explain why.

Being a stay-at-home dad is an excellent opportunity to raise your child how you want!

Along with the, I hope to be obvious, bonding time that you would get to have with your little angel comes the amazing advantage of choosing how to raise your kid. This fact is one that I feel a lot of fathers today don’t think about enough when they first become fathers which isn’t their fault and one reason I wrote this blog post.

Will you choose “positive parenting” where you only praise the good your child does and get down to their level in order to explain why they can’t do the bad? This type of parenting is a pretty solid choice for many parents but in order to do it efficiently, I believe dads should read into this type of parenting to truly understand how they want to go about it.

I recently read an article called, “Better Parenting through Game Theory” by Reuben Westmaas. This gem of a blog post was definitely one that made me think of old school methods, honestly, the first thing that came to mind is how my step-dad handled things with us since he spent his fair amount of time in prison. 🀣 The main points that the author seems to touch on is to make the children more aware that their actions don’t just hurt themselves but their siblings as well, and that you have to make sure to follow through with your punishments.

While these two options are on the polar opposites of the parenting world I use myself, you can see that there are some pretty crazy options to choose from for your kids. So as you can see one great perk of staying at home with the kid(s) is that you know their upbringing was a direct cause of dad’s hard work. 😁

Now about that bonding time πŸ˜‰

As stated before, being a stay-at-home father gives you the amazing chance to really let your inner kid come out, be goofy, let the stress/worries of the outside world melt away and get that magical bonding time that every parent has loved or regretted missing out on.

The experiences I share with my son Bruce has been the most remarkable times in my young life. To be able to see him learn to eat, listen, watch, crawl and soon walk is as captivating as watching your favorite show (right now mine is The Mandalorian πŸ€“) with your favorite actor (Bruce Willis) anytime you want. 😍

It’s just stupifying how they can learn to babble and talk with you as they curiously watch the meticulous movements your mouth can make. With the time you get being a stay-at-home dad you get the chance to really teach them all that you know. I spend hours talking with him about how the rain falls from the clouds gets soaked up by the ground and eventually makes its way back. To him, my words come out as pictures he can see, analyze and configure how he sees fit to make a movie his imagination will play for him for years to come if I make a good enough impression.

One thing I really love about bonding is how creative it makes me feel just being with the mind of a child. He brings forth the very best in me so I try to do as much as I can for him. When he was just 3 months old I even wrote my own lullaby for him since I learned in Psychology that people will remember songs sung to them when they were young. I share this in the hope that it will cause many other fathers to step up and make something special for their child because being a little sensitive with your kid(s) is nothing to be ashamed about. πŸ’ͺ

Baby, baby

What are we gonna do,

You fuss and you cry

We thought you might die

But no you just had to poo,

You’ll be okay little baby

Don’t look at us like we’re crazy,

We’ll hold you real tight

And cuddle all night.

Oh sweet baby we love you!

Tyler David Boyden for his son Bruce Allen Boyden

Money worries 😬

Look I completely understand that there needs to be enough money rolling in for the family so they don’t have to live like Charlie’s family on Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. That doesn’t mean that all that money will make your family happy either though. If you believe that the benefits outweigh the costs in this case, even by just a little, I want to help tip that scale over by saying do it!

I want to be the one to tell you to stop living in the past with your finances because we live in an age that has the Internet so not to be hateful but quit being a dumbass and use this shit to its full potential! πŸ’ͺ😀

My all-time favorite quote comes from an amazingly selfless man, Tony Robbins. It goes like this, “There’s never a lack of resources only a lack of resourcefulness.” Don’t just keep reading either I want you to look back at that quote because even if you’re not trying to be a stay-at-home parent I guarantee it will help you on some of the hardest financial days.

Even if it’s not an immediate move to being at home with your kid(s), working at this little by little each day, or hell for some of the procrastinators at least once a week will help you get more time with them. If you don’t know how to use the Internet find a local class to take. Don’t know where to start or what to lookup? Go onto Bing or Google and type in “How to make money online” because that’s exactly what I did to get the ball rolling. πŸ‘

I run this DaysoftheDad blog that’s been featured in multiple places including “Top 40 Arkansas Blogs“, a blog on Medium and a Facebook group that I use to donate to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and The Wounded Warrior Project. I have stock portfolios with Robinhood, Betterment and Binance (for cryptocurrency) so that I can be diversified to fight any market. I’ve done all this along with talking to and finding amazing people like Nathan Lucas, Dave Sharpe, Gary Vaynerchuk just to name a few all while having the time to really enjoy raising my son.

The crazy part why I’m telling you that is not to gloat (well maybe a little no one’s perfect 😎), but because that’s just what’s been accomplished since June 2019. That’s right! It’s only been half a year and, with the help that can be accessed by just about anyone, I’ve figured out that anyone can be a stay-at-home parent if they truly want. Yes, in most cases it will take a ton of time and effort to get it done, but as Reddington would say, “wouldn’t that be an insignificant price to pay to be with your child.” (Blacklist 😁 if you haven’t watched it you should!)

DaysoftheDad will be writing plenty of articles in the future about finances so make sure to watch out for them. I know not every parent has the time to go online and find what they need so I want to shorten the gap for them. I want you as a parent to have the same chances I have to provide for your family and live the life you want.

I really hope this resonates with some of the fathers out there to give some serious thought to the matter. Don’t wait for tomorrow wishing you had done it today! πŸ‘Š Let’s make 2020 a record year for dad achievements who’s with me?

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